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SQL Server installers cannot find existing instance

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Here's an issue that has me completely stumped.  I have inherited a machine running Windows Server 2008 R2 SP1, with three SQL instances:

OMSQL - SQL Server 2005 (9.3.4035) Express Edition - deprecated, service disabled
SQLEXPRESS - SQL Server 2008 R2 x64 (10.50.1600.1) Workgroup Edition
SQLEXPRESSADV - SQL Server 2008 R2 x64 (10.50.1600.1) Express Edition

I have need to upgrade the Workgroun edition instance named SQLEXPRESS to SQL 2014.  I'm aware that this will have to be upgraded to the Standard edition, since Workgroup is deprecated, but to do that, I have to first upgrade the existing instance to 2008 R2 SP2 or later.

When attempting to run any of the x64 service pack installers (SP1, SP2, or SP3), not a single one of them can find the SQLEXPRESS instance.  I have double-checked the version and edition of the existing instance a dozen time over, in every way imaginable, and confirmed that it is indeed 2008 R2 RTM 64-bit.  I also tried running the SQL 2008 R2 RTM x64 Standard Edition installer to attempt an edition upgrade prior to the service pack, and even that fails to find this instance.  I even tried running the 32-bit service pack installer just for the heck of it, and that didn't work either.  Even the repair installer is failing because it can't find the instance to attempt a repair.

To confim the version and edition, I ran the following query within the instance in SSMS:

SELECT 
  SERVERPROPERTY('productversion') as 'Product Version',
  SERVERPROPERTY('productlevel') as 'Service Pack', 
  SERVERPROPERTY('edition') as 'Edition',
  SERVERPROPERTY('instancename') as 'Instance',
  SERVERPROPERTY('servername') as 'Server Name'

The result of this is as follows:

Product VersionService PackEditionInstanceServer Name
10.50.1600.1RTMWorkgroup Edition (64-bit)SQLEXPRESSIMS059\SQLEXPRESS

And here is the output from the summary log file from the SP3 installer:

Machine Properties:
  Machine name:                  IMS059
  Machine processor count:       8
  OS version:                    Windows Server 2008 R2
  OS service pack:               Service Pack 1
  OS region:                     United States
  OS language:                   English (United States)
  OS architecture:               x64
  Process architecture:          64 Bit
  OS clustered:                  No

Product features discovered:
  Product              Instance             Instance ID                    Feature                                 Language             Edition              Version         Clustered 
  Sql Server 2005      OMSQL                MSSQL.1                        Database Engine Services                1033                 Express Edition      9.3.4035        No        
  Sql Server 2005      OMSQL                MSSQL.1                        SQL Server Replication                  1033                 Express Edition      9.3.4035        No        
  Sql Server 2005      OMSQL                MSSQL.1                        SharedTools                             1033                 Express Edition      9.3.4035        No        
  Sql Server 2005                                                          Tools                                   1033                 Express Edition      9.3.4035        No       
  Sql Server 2005                                                          ToolsClient                             1033                 Express Edition      9.3.4035        No        
  Sql Server 2005                                                          ToolsClient\Connectivity                1033                 Express Edition      9.3.4035        No        
  Sql Server 2008 R2   SQLEXPRESSADV        MSSQL10_50.SQLEXPRESSADV       Database Engine Services                 1033                Express Edition      10.50.1600.1    No        
  Sql Server 2008 R2   SQLEXPRESSADV        MSSQL10_50.SQLEXPRESSADV       SQL Server Replication                   1033                Express Edition      10.50.1600.1    No        
  Sql Server 2008 R2   SQLEXPRESSADV        MSSQL10_50.SQLEXPRESSADV       Full-Text Search                         1033                Express Edition      10.50.1600.1    No        
  Sql Server 2008 R2   SQLEXPRESSADV        MSRS10_50.SQLEXPRESSADV        Reporting Services                       1033                Express Edition      10.50.1600.1    No        
  Sql Server 2008 R2                                                       Management Tools - Basic                1033                 Workgroup Edition    10.50.1600.1    No        

Package properties:
  Description:                   SQL Server Database Services 2008 R2
  ProductName:                   SQL2008
  Type:                          RTM
  Version:                       10
  SPLevel:                       3
  KBArticle:                     KB2979597
  KBArticleHyperlink:            http://support.microsoft.com/?kbid=2979597
  PatchType:                     SP
  AssociatedHotfixBuild:         0
  Platform:                      x64
  PatchLevel:                    10.53.6000.34
  ProductVersion:                10.50.1600.1
  GDRReservedRange:              10.50.6100.0:10.50.6300.0
  PackageName:                   SQLServer2008R2-KB2979597-x64.exe
  Installation location:         \\nas01\share\Programs\SQL Server 2008 R2\SP3\64-bit\x64\setup\

User Input Settings:
  ACTION:                        Patch
  ALLINSTANCES:                  False
  CLUSTERPASSIVE:                False
  CONFIGURATIONFILE:             
  ENU:                           True
  FARMACCOUNT:                   <empty>
  FARMADMINPORT:                 0
  FARMPASSWORD:                  *****
  HELP:                          False
  INDICATEPROGRESS:              False
  INSTANCEID:                    <empty>
  INSTANCENAME:                  <empty>
  PASSPHRASE:                    *****
  QUIET:                         False
  QUIETSIMPLE:                   False
  UIMODE:                        Normal
  X86:                           False

Rules with failures:

Global rules:

There are no scenario-specific rules.

Rules report file:               C:\Program Files\Microsoft SQL Server\100\Setup Bootstrap\Log\20181217_180921\SystemConfigurationCheck_Report.htm

The system configuration check report shows green across the board, and I cannot find any hint of any errors anywhere in the log files.  As you can see, it finds the other instances just fine, including the disabled one, but the one I need to upgrade is just not there.  It simply acts as if the instance does not exist, but clearly it does as there's an active production database in it, and I can connect to it just fine with SSMS.  The instance also appears when running "sqlcmd -L".  Numerous server reboots also have not had any effect.

So.....anyone got any genius ideas on this one?  I'd really rather not have to manually migrate everything to a new instance if I can help it, but I've pretty much exhausted all conventional troubleshooting on this one.


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