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Need complete, detailed instructions on how to remove/uninstall SQL Server 2008 and R2

There are thousands of forum posts related to uninstalling SQL Server that provide varied information.  Most refer to the BOL articlehttp://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ms143412.aspx, which is useless in most error situations.  Can anyone provide true, complete instructions for removing all SQL Server components from a machine?  I'm not sure why there isn't a robust MS-provided utility for this, but I'll be relieved just to have a manual method.  I understand that there will be registry hacks, security group mods, folder deletions/renames from god knows how many places, and probably a cauldron of frog legs and shaken babies.  Just please don't make me cruise these endless seas of bogus forum posts any longer.  I am thirsty and seasick.

Thank you,

-Peter

PS My Environment:

Windows 7 Ultimate 64 bit

SQL Server 2008 R2 (I think some of my old SQL 2008 "plain" install may still reside as well) Developer Edition - All components

Yes, I have VS 2010, which prbly caused the SQLExpress BS to hork my origh install in the first place.  I yearn for the day when VS and SQL teams kiss and make up.


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